I’ve written this document to understand Vendetta history and how that can translate into a comprehensive diagnosis. I’ve read books and interview lots of her friends, to figure it out. I put the three closest possibilities to explain the diagnoses:
- Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
- Anti-social behavior goes along with this group of disorders
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)?
Here is the list from the book:
- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
- A pattern or unstable and intense relationships
- Unstable self-image or sense of self
- Impulsive, and behavior that could be self-destructive (reckless driving)
- Suicidal gestures, threats, or self-mutilation behavior
- Intense moodiness, rapid mood changes
- Feelings of emptiness
- Inappropriate, intense anger
- Stress-induced paranoid thoughts
BPD Survey (if Vendetta has at least 5 of these 9 things, then she has this problem). From my count, she has 7 of the nine.
- Real or imagined abandonment fears: Definitely (chased me down the street; mad when I leave).
- Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships: Yes, very intense. Eventually flipped on people she dated and has close friendships, because they are so intense. Miserable in marriage. Killed two marriages in only a year.
- Lack of clear sense of identify: Maybe. She has control over her identify now, but maybe not during high school. There was the story about what she wore in school and getting made fun of.
- Impulsive and dangerous behavior: Yes, ragging while driving.
- Suicidal threats or jesters: Yes, all during childhood.
- Sever mood changes and reactivity to stressors: Definitely, freaks out on employees and me over the smallest things (baby bonnett, not opening a car door, etc.)
- Chaotic feelings of emptiness: Not sure, I get this impression some times. Has sent messages and talked to people.
- Frequent and inappropriate displays of anger: Definitely, happened all the time.
- Stress related feelings of paranoia: Yeah, when I have Lauren. She attacked me. Hacked my phone.
- Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms: Yes, ex-husband and I haven’t seen how split personality. Her eyes glaze over and she can’t put together words.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which people have an excessive sense of self-importance, an extreme preoccupation with themselves, and lack of empathy for others. Cause of this disorder is unknown. Early life experiences, such as particularly insensitive parenting, are thought to play a role in the development of this disorder. A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
- React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation: Definitely. No one can kid around with Vendetta. Blames others for her own errors.
- Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals: Yes, me to have a baby, ex-husband to move out of her house, boyfriends for business help, flight lessons, etc.
- Have excessive feelings of self-importance: Like normal. Lies a lot, though.
- Exaggerate achievements and talents: Maybe so. Didn’t delegate, b/c she thinks she the best. Thought she could teach photography at WPPI.
- Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love: Maybe more than normal, but she does lie a lot.
- Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment: Yes, Warby Parker and business dealings where she maybe mistakes, but complained enough to get special treatment
- Need constant attention and admiration: Yes, father said this much. Freaked out when I didn’t message her constantly.
- Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy: Maybe she can fake empathy, but she definitely can’t show it in treatments with me or Lauren. I’m constantly telling her that what she is doing hurts Lauren, but she doesn’t care.
- Have obsessive self-interest: Yes, takes from others without giving anything back. See it in business dealings. Tried to destroy me in court.
- Pursue mainly selfish goals: mostly like a normal person
- Trouble keeping healthy relationships: Definitely. Destroyed two marriages and every relationship she has ever had.
- Setting unrealistic goals: Was a big criticism in her last job. Promises everything. Can’t meet.
- Being easily hurt and rejected: Yes, if Vendetta wants something personal, but doesn’t get it, she takes it very badly.
- Having a fragile self-esteem: This is probably true. Had trouble with rejections at River church.
- Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional: Yes, she can achieve this. Especially when we left the court room and nothing happened to me.
But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.
Antisocial personality disorder is a type of chronic mental condition in which a person’s ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional — and destructive. People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong and often disregard the rights, wishes and feelings of others.
Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others either harshly or with callous indifference. They may often violate the law, landing in frequent trouble, yet they show no guilt or remorse. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. These characteristics typically make people with antisocial personality disorder unable to fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school.
- Disregard for right and wrong: Maybe. Certainly in regards to Lauren’s well-being since she will not allow me to see Lauren.
- Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others: Yes, almost everyone who gets in her way.
- Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or for sheer personal pleasure: She is a great sales person and she was able to evade therapy.
- Intense egocentrism, sense of superiority and exhibitionism: Maybe.
- Recurring difficulties with the law: Maybe, lots of tickets, but nothing else crazy.
- Repeatedly violating the rights of others by the use of intimidation, dishonesty and misrepresentation: Yes, but not to their face. Talks behind people’s backs and tries to get others to attach each other while she pretends to not be guilty.
- Child abuse or neglect: Not yey.
- Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, impulsiveness, aggression or violence: Absolutely. Raging and violence all the time.
- Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others: Maybe, lack of empathy in some case and no remorse in some cases.
- Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behaviors: Drinking and driving and other issues from driving habits, to dangerous decisions, etc.
- Poor or abusive relationships: Absolutely. Destroys her closest relationships.
- Irresponsible work behavior: Not really.
- Failure to learn from the negative consequences of behavior: haven’t observed.