story_image_rage5Vendetta’s OBGYN was well respected in Charleston. I personally liked her a ton and she was always very respectable. On the way to see Vendetta’s doctor, Vendetta began to rage after she got lost going to the doctor’s office. Vendetta started to drive erratically and very aggressively. I had already seen her anger build when we left the house, but when she missed the turn, she became inconsolable. She stopped talking in complete sentences. She had pursed lips and fidgety actions. She started speeding down highway 17 in Mt. Pleasant. She would drive right up to someone’s bumper and swerve to change lanes with no indicator. She was out of control and I was terrified. I started praying, because I knew she would never stop like on that Tennessee highway where she drove for over 45 mins in the rain and dark in an absolute rage. I decided to throw myself out the moving car, because I saw no other option. I couldn’t stop her and I knew I was going to die if this continued.

Luckily, we hit a little traffic and the whole crowd of cars came to a stop light. I saw my opportunity to escape and I took off by running down the highway onto the grass and through a clearing near a ditch. Vendetta pursued me in her car and begged me to come back into the car. I refused, until I compromised and said I would join her only if I was driving. She left the seat and I hesitantly jumped in.

We arrived at the OBGYN and I was in absolutely shell shock. It felt like I was slowly recovering from a panic attack. It was horrible, terrifying and crazy at the same time, because I looked beside me to find a smiling Vendetta. She was completely over it. She had no obvious signs that she knew what she did wrong or cared about the consequences of her actions. I looked at the doctor like I had just witnessed a crime. The doctor had no idea what I went through and probably thought I was crazy.

“A hospitalized borderline patient literally yelled at her hospital physician during their early half-hour interviews, and her voice carried to all the offices in the building. After ~ weeks of such behavior, which the hospital physician felt unable to influence by any means, he saw her by change shortly after leaving the office. He was still virtually trembling, and was struck by the fact that the patient seemed completely relaxed, and smiled in a friendly way while talking to some other patients with whom she was acquainted. If mental-health professionals tremble in the wake of borderline rage, how do children survive?”

It only occurred to me that Vendetta had done that before when her mother arrived in the same panicked look on several occasions. Vendetta said her mother was crazy after all. This was evidence confirming bias at work.1

I speculated that Vendetta told the OBGYN that I was an uncaring father. When I arrive at the clinic, there was no way to fake being happy. I wanted to vomit after what I was put through and how Vendetta was able to fake it so convincingly.

When the appointment was wrapping up, I tried to wait for Vendetta to leave so I could talk to the doctor, but the doctor left first and didn’t give me a chance to talk to her in secret. I would have just asked if what I witnessed and was going through was normal.