story_image_the visit1 The marriage was moving fast and I was excited to meet Vendetta’s parents for the first time, so I drove over to Charleston and met them in person. Josh, Vendetta’s brother, was there too, which was great, because I really liked him and hadn’t seen him for years. Vendetta was shooting a wedding, so she couldn’t make it, but that didn’t stop me from going. The whole visit took five hours and we talked the whole time. Looking back, many things stood out as problems.

Before the conversation got going, Charles interrupted with this sentence: “I don’t know what Vendetta told you about us”. I presumed this was in response to the fact that Vendetta cut them off for over a year. I don’t know why, but I wanted to fix that situation, so I help Vendetta to reengage with her parents. “When [Borderlines] are angry, they confront family members with a wall of cold, stony silence or unbridled wrath. … [they] punished those they loved by shutting them out.” That was a strange way to start, but it was indicative of what I would also be a victim of: a lie. I asked about everything. I wanted to know about Vendetta’s previous marriage and what happened. Charles told us they never had a problem with Eliot, but that he didn’t want to continue the marriage. I asked about Vendetta’s part in the marriage, but they didn’t have any comments. I asked why Vendetta was taken out of school to go to Europe. Their response was guarded, but it essentially was that they had an opportunity to go, so that took it. Carpi Diem! Vendetta told me she thought her parents were having marriage problems. That was also a lie. I asked why Vendetta stopped paying her mortgage and they didn’t say anything. Vendetta had the money and her divorce contract made it legally required, but she just stopped paying. When my questions got more personal, Josh got visibly uncomfortable. He decided to leave the room, because – in his words – he didn’t want to be a part of gossip. I admit that I was being very probing, but I needed answers to make sure I didn’t invest too much into a dead relationship. Charles and Taylor skirted around the truth and in some cases purposefully didn’t provide me the information to make a good decision about my relationship with Vendetta.

I wanted to ask about Vendetta’s first marriage, but I never had the guts. The story goes that Taylor canceled the reception the day before the wedding. It’s honestly, pretty much the meanest low down dirty thing a mother could do to her own child. Charles did the wedding anyway and the party went to an alternative venue. I never heard the story why this happened and I speculated for a long time until I pieced it all together.

Taylor apparently canceled the wedding, because she knew that Vendetta was using Eliot to move out of her parent’s house and from their supervision. Vendetta told me in numerous occasions that she didn’t want to go back to her parent’s house. If she was married, she would have the freedom that her parents didn’t allow because of all the bad circumstances she got herself into. For the fact that Charles did the wedding anyone must have produced some contentious moments between him and Taylor.

I asked so many probing questions during this first meeting that it boarded on inappropriate. Five hours of discussions to make sure I knew what I was getting into. The only reason I continued to date Vendetta was after this meeting with her parents. If they had just told me the truth to my many questions, things would have been very different. Unfortunately, they lied to me. They are both equally guilty. At least Josh walked away when he heard his parents lying.