Many times through the marriage, Vendetta would not help pay family expenses, which was a big problem.  She would go on expensive trips abroad and expensive photography classes, but wouldn’t help pay for family expenses. She begged to create a combined bank account, but refused to use it, and she told everyone that I refused to set one up. I even called the bank multiple times to show Vendetta that her card worked, but she refused to use it. She wanted a way to say to her friends and family that I refused to combine accounts. The manipulation had no end.

During some of Vendetta’s expensive adventures, I’d ask for money, but she would never help out. She just refused to be a financial help to the family. Over the course of one year, Vendetta made over 155,000 dollars in revenue, but contributed only 10,000 to family finances. I contributed nearly 90% of my money. During a trip to Charleston, Vendetta bragged to my mother and brother that she is going to make over $100,000 in 2013. Since my mother knew how little money I had and how terrible my financial situation was, she thought to herself why wouldn’t Vendetta help?

It appeared that Vendetta was planning a divorce for a very long time. She would spend her money, but rake up debts in every other area of life so that in case of divorce, I would have to pay her debts, but she would have already spent the money on things like $5,000 weekend long photography classes. It was wrong, and it costs us a ton of money. Whenever I tried to approach Vendetta about these bad choices, she got very volatile and mean. To give an example, Vendetta had a $30 medical bill in her name that she refused to pay. Each statement we got, the bill got higher, because of collection fees. I even opened up all her bill statements and put them on the table for her to see them and how many notices she got. She refused to pay them. I was borrowing money from my mom, so I didn’t have the cash either. Vendetta had over 100k sitting in her bank accounts shielded in a way that would stop us from splitting it in a divorce. She would rather ruin her credit than to yield anything.

She also made it uncomfortable to talk about money, so I requested that we talk about it in front of a trained counselor. Same results. Vendetta threw the whole discussion. When Rasputin surprised Vendetta one day with a proposed budget template and asked me to fill it out, he even confirmed to Vendetta that I had no money, and she would have to help out the family expenses. Vendetta still made it impossible. I guess she couldn’t hide how much money she had because I had over a decade of financial analysis experience, and I was so integrated into the photography business.

I went so far as to have Vendetta’s father intervene to help out. I put together an exhaustive spreadsheet explaining our financial situation, how Vendetta was absolutely banking by being in this relationship (her expenses were cut in half), and how I needed help to avoid bankruptcy. It was compelling and easily understandable. I even sent the financials to Tiffany, because she was the person who Vendetta manipulated into believing that she had no money, and I was somehow stealing money from her1. I knew that Tiffany understood the financials because Vendetta yelled at me. Here’s the truth about Vendetta’s financial situation. Before marriage, she had roughly, $2,700 in expenses and $4,000 in income. After the marriage, she was roughly $800 in expenses, but made over $10,000 a month in profits. That’s why the whole money situation was a lie, and I knew it. See our budget below for details and how transparent I made it all:

story_image_begging.jpg