[ref]Psychological Analysis: Could it be possible that you wanted so much to see her “sane” that you ignored many key moments of windows in to her fragile instability? Also you are citing a lot quotes about people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I agree the disorder is exhausting to deal with but folks with this disorder can have successful relationships. Often if their partners are consistent, nurturing, and help to establish and maintain safe and healthy boundaries. Do you think you did that? What I am reading says that you didn’t navigate these landmines very well fell short of providing that environment as well. I am pointing out your faults bc the blame game is a dangerous one that stalls grown and adaptive healthy living. If the full responsibility is on the other person’s insanity than you will repeat, as it appears you have, the same mistake. Also if children are involved future dealings will be unhealthy and unproductive. I agree she seems ill but psychologically I do not see that you are super healthy and have things you may want to explore and look at in order to grow.[/ref] One day Vendetta was in Atlanta with me and we were walking down the Emerson campus. All of a sudden, Vendetta fell to her knees and started crying uncontrollably. “Borderlines may display dramatic or hysterical behavior such as gasping and crying… and triggering a startle response. Overreactions to illness and accidents, and dramatic displays of rage or withdrawal leave family members feeling sucked in and emotionally depleted.” I thought someone, literally, had died. It appeared that Vendetta got a message from her grandmother (Martha) that really was mean and unkind. She made it seem like she was she personally attacked because she was dating a black guy. It made a little sense considering that grandma was from Alabama and they could have been a little racist. I didn’t question it and tried to help Vendetta. Later that day, Taylor called me up and read me the message. She explained that Vendetta overreacted to the message and she read it verbatim to me. It sounded like Vendetta overreacted, but I didn’t want to be a part of the drama, so I listened nicely and left it alone.
It would appear that Taylor was honest about the actual message. I think Vendetta probably dated so many people and she made such a big deal out of it on Facebook, that her grandmother didn’t want Vendetta to embarrass herself with another broken relationship splashed out on Facebook. “The borderline Queen is quick to shift her affection from one person to another, depending on the degree of compliance and admiration that she receives.” This episode hinted at Vendetta’s quick interpersonal relationships that cycled very quickly. The difference with us was the long distance aspect, which meant that Vendetta and I slowed down the relationship just enough to make it reasonable for Vendetta to keep up an illusion of sanity.
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