The marriage was quickly dissolving and I was talking to everyone. I reached out to all of Vendetta’s close friends and family members to get answers. Tiffany and I spoke in length. She said that Vendetta’s worse characteristic was her inability to say “sorry” no matter how obviously wrong she was.
“When desperation drives behavior such as lying or stealing, they feel innocent of wrongdoing and do not feel guilt or remorse. Apologies are rare, therefore, and borderlines may be confused about why others expect them to feel remorse.”
After Vendetta got pregnant, I never heard that phase either. In fact, Vendetta had a general inability to take responsibility for anything no matter how wrong she was. It was weird. Even when I asked about Vendetta’s contribution to the demise of her last marriage, she simply said, “I’m sure I had some part.” No details were provided.
When I spoke to Charles, she was upset that Vendetta never grew out of the “rages” (as he characterized) the extremely dangerous situations Vendetta put herself and others in when she absolutely lost her mind. I already witnessed many of these rages, but I had thought it was Taylor who was crazy and bi-polar. Charles said they both raged, which was a turning point for me, because now I assumed this whole issue was passed down from Taylor to Vendetta. I would later assume that Charles through Taylor under the bus to protect Vendetta in what I classify as Charles’s second big lie to me. The whole damn thing was confusing1, bizarre and odd.
The most important conversation involved Vendetta’s aunt Samantha, who mentioned that Vendetta had narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). I saw the word narcissistic and knew that Vendetta loved attention, but I didn’t look up the disorder until many months later, at which point I discovered that NPD was far more destructive than just enjoying Facebook likes. NPD is a disorder where people “use” other people for their own gains and advantages. Remember the waiter story? There are dozens of stories of Vendetta taking advantage of someone or something and getting it free. She turns the switch on and off effortlessly. It’s obvious what Vendetta used me for. She wanted a baby. Vendetta used her ex-husband to buy a home so she could get out of living with her mother after she returned from college. Vendetta also manipulates situations to win favor, like complaining to a business representative until she got something free. Lying is not a deterrent either. NPD creates pathological liars. I was right2.